Overcoming the Obstacles to Becoming a Synodal Parish. The Key Is Deep Listening Without Rebuttal
Here is the link to the recording of this training session: https://youtu.be/LaOxYNS0U9g.
The summary below gives you a sense of the training, but you are highly encouraged to listen to this recording.
Here Is The AI Summary Of The Presentation
(with some human double-checking)
The meeting began with Pat Berberich introducing Dr. Ariane David, who has a PhD in Organizational Systems and experience working with corporations, universities, and governments. The seminar was structured into two parts: the first hour would cover the science of thinking, followed by an hour of exercises to practice these concepts. The conversation began with a prayer led by Rene Reid to open the seminar.
Transformative Conversations: Foundation and Thinking
Ariane discussed that the reason for synodal conversations failing is that each side has a strong position in their thinking. She stressed the importance of laying a proper foundation for transformative conversations, emphasizing that starting in the middle without understanding the necessary elements often leads to failure.
She explained the concept of positional thinking, which involves holding a specific position on a continuum, for example, from conservative to liberal, with each side challenging the other’s perspectives without self-reflection.
She contrasted it with non-positional thinking, which involves opening ourselves to understanding different viewpoints without adopting them or giving up on our values.
Ariane introduced four key questions about chronic problems, failed relationships, and synodal conversations, and highlighted the need to shift from positional to non-positional thinking to foster better understanding and communication.
Foundations for Polarized Dialogue
The meeting focused on learning how to have conversations in a polarized environment. Dr. Ariane David emphasized the importance of non-positional thinking to overcome obstacles in synodality and transformative dialogues. The group discussed the need for foundational work before engaging in dialogue, using the analogy of building a house without a proper foundation.
The session aimed to explore non-positional thinking to establish a solid foundation for dialogue, starting with personal relationships before expanding to larger conversations about synodality.
Beyond Positional Thinking in Conversations
Ariane discussed the concept of positional thinking and its limitations in critical conversations, emphasizing the importance of non-positional thinking to understand different perspectives. She explored how schemas, organizing patterns in the brain, shape perception and memory, highlighting the influence of pre-existing beliefs on what we remember and how we make decisions. Ariane also explained how emotions play a crucial role in decision-making, even for the most rational individuals. She concluded by discussing the backfire effect, where challenging existing beliefs can actually strengthen them, and the futility of trying to change someone’s mind through forceful argument.
Subjective Logic and Emotional Decisions
Ariane discussed the concept of logic being subjective and created by individuals, emphasizing that emotions often drive decisions rather than logic. She underlined the importance of recognizing that others’ logic may differ but is equally valid, and encouraged asking what might be overlooked in conflicts to foster understanding.
Rene shared a concern about visa rejections by the Italian Embassy for young Africans attending a Vatican event, which Ariane acknowledged as an example of emotional decision-making on the part of the Embassy over logic.
She advised Rene to continue pushing for change despite bureaucratic challenges, as direct communication with decision-makers is often difficult.
Deep Listening for Understanding
Ariane led a discussion on the importance of curiosity, discernment, and wisdom in listening, emphasizing the need to understand different perspectives without immediately seeking to prove them wrong.
She shared the story of Daryl Davis, who listened to members of the Ku Klux Klan to understand their views, and, ultimately, after five years, led to their conversion.
Pat highlighted the role of the heart in listening, while Ariane stressed that genuine listening requires a crack in one’s own certainty to truly hear others. The session concluded with plans to conduct exercises, including the “position game,” to practice these listening skills.
Expanding Perspectives Through Thought Exercises
The group discussed a thought exercise designed to expand thinking beyond comfort zones, with Ariane guiding participants through a series of questions about positions and perspectives. The exercise aimed to help participants explore opposing viewpoints and consider the merits of different positions, with emphasis on maintaining curiosity and openness rather than rigidity in their thinking.
Synodality: Starting from Within
An Australian priest expressed challenges in promoting synodality among his fellow priests, noting a lack of interest and engagement. Ariane advised focusing on listening to others rather than trying to convert them, emphasizing that genuine dialogue requires understanding and empathy. Participants discussed strategies to initiate conversations, such as finding common ground and starting small, local discussions. The group agreed that synodality must begin at the individual level rather than being imposed from the top down.
Exercise to apply this training
1. In 2 or 3 sentences, describe the issue.
2. In 2 or 3 sentences, make the argument in favor of your position. For example, I believe xxx because…”
3. By holding onto your position, what is the payoff for you?
4. In one sentence, state the opposite position.
Now here’s where non-positional thinking and imagination come in. Now pretend (imagine) that you strongly believe the other side. You’re just pretending, so you have nothing to lose. Make it convincing and real.
5. List the merits of this (opposite) position. Be fair.
6. If this position is correct, what could be the possible benefits?
7. If this position is correct, and you dismiss it, what problems could result?
8. If you are having difficulty answering any questions (4 through 7), is there anything that could convince you to change your mind?
Spiritual Guide Conflict Resolution
Ariane led the participant in the Spiritual Guide Exercise, which helps participants resolve conflicts by calling on a higher power or spiritual guide for insight. The exercise involves answering ten questions about a conflict, with the guide providing answers.
1. Guide, as a being who knows me intimately, you have observed the conflict between ______ and me.
2. Guide, you know and respect _______. What are the qualities you know and like about him/her?
3. Guide, you know how I see the conflict; how do you s ee the conflict?
4. When people are stuck in a conflict, both are responsible. From your observation, how have I contributed to the conflict?
5. What is one small thing that I’m not seeing about the conflict?
6. What is one more thing that I’m not seeing about the conflict? Repeat this question until you stop receiving answers.
7. What are some other things that I’m not seeing about the conflict?
8. Angel, is there anything else you’d like me to know about _________?
9. If I were willing to be in a state of uncertainty and curiosity, what is one small thing that I could do to move this conflict towards resolution?
10. Guide, what would you recommend overall that I do to move this conflict towards resolution?
Participants discussed the importance of listening and being open-hearted in resolving conflicts, and in being willing to just listen without rebuttal. The session concluded with plans for a follow-up on Saturday with Father Joe Healy, where participants will apply these techniques in breakout rooms.
Here is the link to Part 2’s training session:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92XrcO-hzdY.
The summary below offers a sense of the training, but you are highly encouraged to listen to this recording.
Here Is The AI Summary Of The Presentation
(with some human double-checking)
Quick Recap
The group explored various challenges and successes of implementing synodality across different Catholic dioceses, with participants sharing experiences and insights about positional versus non-positional thinking. The discussion concluded with conversations about the importance of listening and inclusivity in synodal processes, particularly in engaging younger generations and addressing societal divisions.
Synodality Meeting Logistics Planning
Following the prayer led by Fr. Joe, the conversation began with Rene introducing Father Joe Healey as the speaker for this session on building synodality and facing obstacles.
Synodality and Non-Positional Thinking
Fr. Joe led the discussion on synodality and positional versus non-positional thinking, using examples from personal experiences to illustrate both approaches. He emphasized the importance of balancing both ways of thinking and highlighted resistance to the synodal process as a significant obstacle to its success.
The group reviewed questions to develop non-positional thinking and discussed the need for open communication and a willingness to learn from others.
Synodality: Challenges and Successes
Fr. Joe discussed the challenges and successes of implementing the synodal process in various Catholic dioceses. He highlighted successful examples in Baltimore and San Diego, where the process led to parish mergers and vibrant community engagement. However, he also shared instances where synodality failed, such as in New Jersey, due to positional thinking and a lack of genuine dialogue. Fr. Joe emphasized the importance of learning from both successes and failures to improve the synodal process in the future.
Synodality Implementation Challenges Discussed
The group discussed the challenges and uneven implementation of synodality across dioceses, with Geoff noting that while some Australian dioceses are engaging with synodality, others, including his own, are less active. Frank shared insights from a Vatican biographer about the Church’s ongoing commitment to synodality over the next 18 months, and highlighted Bishop Brendan’s experience in Ireland, where synodal processes have been crucial for effective governance. Fr. Joe recommended reading a two-part interview with Pope Leo, who emphasized that synodality enhances rather than diminishes bishops’ authority, and Clyde shared a story about the slow pace of change in a Kenyan village to illustrate the need for patience in implementing synodal practices.
Synodality and Long-term Change Commitment
The group discussed the importance of maintaining long-term commitment to change and reinforcing it until it becomes a habit, with Ariane emphasizing that sudden interventions without sustained support often lead to disappointment and hinder future change efforts. Fr. Joe highlighted the need to expand synodality beyond parishes and dioceses to include religious congregations and societies, providing examples of innovative uses of technology like Zoom and AI in synodal processes. The conversation ended with a call for examples of how community, pastoral, and retreat centers are implementing the seven-step synodal process.
Lay Participation in Synodal Homilies
The group discussed the importance of lay participation in homilies and the broader synodal process, with Geoff and Fr. Joe sharing experiences of shared homilies in their communities. Frank and Fr. Joe highlighted examples of successful lay-led homilies and discussions, while Charlie suggested engaging Catholic universities in synodality. Clyde emphasized the need for a shift from hierarchical to communal decision-making, drawing parallels to cognitive development. The group agreed to discuss specific examples of positional and non-positional thinking, as well as insights from Ariane’s recent talk.
Synodal Process and Listening Steps
Fr. Joe outlined the steps for a synodal process discussion, emphasizing the importance of 2-minute silences for listening to the Holy Spirit and sharing personal experiences. He explained that participants would share concrete examples of positional versus non-positional thinking, reflect on what they learned from others, and discuss the way forward for the Catholic Church in October 2025. The group agreed to follow a structured sharing format, with Fr. Joe serving as facilitator, and began with a centering prayer and silence.
Overcoming Positional Thinking in Dialogue
The group discussed challenges around inclusivity and positional thinking, particularly in the context of the Catholic Church. Charlie shared his experience with a schismatic group led by Archbishop Karl Rodig, initially considering their inclusion but reconsidering after listening to concerns from church workers. Rene described how strong positional thinking in the United States makes it difficult to engage in constructive dialogue, particularly on immigration issues, but found the “Spirit Guide” exercise helpful in becoming more open to listening. Geoff shared an example of Cardinal Pell’s opposition to synodality, highlighting the challenges of engaging with those who hold strongly positional views.
Synodality, Democracy, and Church Challenges
The group discussed positional thinking and its challenges, with Patricia expressing concerns about the Catholic Church’s stance on LGBTQ individuals and its resistance to change, which she finds incompatible with the concept of synodality. Clyde shared his perspective on Donald Trump’s presidency as a stress test for American democracy, suggesting it provides an opportunity to evaluate the country’s resilience. Fr. Joe described his experience at the Marino U.S. Regional Assembly, where he interviewed members to understand their objections to inviting Maryknoll sisters, lay missionaries, and affiliates to their meetings, highlighting the need for deeper listening and collaboration.
Non-Positional Thinking and Listening
Ariane shared her personal struggle with non-positional thinking, expressing difficulty in listening without judgment, especially in close relationships. She noted the challenging political climate in the United States and emphasized the importance of listening without the intent to persuade, despite its challenges. The group agreed to exchange contact information for future collaboration, and Fr. Joe introduced the second round of the 7 Steps method, encouraging participants to share their reflections on what they heard others say and the Holy Spirit’s role in their experiences.
Challenges of Listening in Polarization
The group discussed the challenges of listening, particularly in polarized times, with Rene sharing her experience of trying to listen to a Trump supporter without engaging in debate. Clyde explored the concept of listening “without voice,” suggesting that God doesn’t speak directly but requires human attention to resonant feelings. Geoff, at 86, reflected on how emotions and positions complicate listening, while Patricia proposed that the current societal divisions might be part of a larger creative process that requires surrender and imagination. The discussion highlighted the difficulty of listening without judgment or immediate response, especially in deeply divided contexts.
Synodality and Youth Engagement
The group discussed the challenges of implementing synodality in the Catholic Church, particularly in engaging younger generations who feel alienated by the institution’s negative messaging on sexuality. Fr. Joe raised questions about the balance between listening and prophetic voice, noting that while prophets were not listeners, both approaches might be necessary for meaningful reform. The discussion concluded with Patricia emphasizing the importance of listening from both directions and the need to balance prophetic voices with open dialogue. At the same time, Rene highlighted the challenge of finding the proper balance between speaking out and remaining silent.
Synodal Process Implementation and Encouragement
The group discussed the implementation of synodal processes, with Fr. Joe sharing an example from a New Jersey parish where changing a Mass time to 4 PM was successfully achieved through parish council consultation. The participants expressed encouragement about the synodal process and its potential for problem-solving. The conversation ended with a blessing for Charlie and Rene, who are traveling to Rome for the Jubilee year Synodal Teams event, and a discussion about sharing the meeting recordings and summaries for group discussions.
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